"Okay, this is sort of neat, I get to make a character. I want to read about each race and each class. Trolls are cool. Druid sounds like something I'd like. Why can't I make a troll druid? Just because? This is stupid. Okay okay, I'll try a Night Elf druid if you say so. Wow, this opening movie is really pretty! The whole game is this pretty? That's cool. Now what do I do? Yeah, I can see that elf with a yellow exclamation point. Do what it says? Okay, I think I can figure this out, yeah, you can head out, I'll see you later."
So I click on the guy with the exclamation point and start to do what he says. As I'm casting wrath on some innocent little creatures, a big bear approaches me. It says "Hi, can I be your pet?" It must be part of the game, so I say "Yes." It invites me to a party, and proceeds to kill every innocent little creature with single hits with its paws. There isn't time for me to cast wrath, so I just stand there to see what happens next. The bear says, "I'll do anything for you. I'm your pet. Just tell me what to do." I try turning in the quest to see if that gives me any clues what to do with the bear, but it doesn't mention a bear. "Do you like having me as your pet?" the bear asks. I'm still admiring the graphics and wondering if the game is more fun once you get the hang of it. I kind of snap out of my awed reverie when the bear says, "I want to be your furry love slave!" I'm not exactly sheltered, but what the hell?! Why is this game talking about furry love slaves? This is weird and stupid and I don't like it. I don't think I'll ever play it again.
Creepy not sexy!
...About a month later I make a second foray. I've figured out by now that the bear who wanted to be my pet was a player, not part of the game. The second time, I make an Orc hunter and I like it a lot better. The Horde is way cooler than the Alliance. Elves are silly and too girly for me. This character has a green six pack! I start a few other classes, always Horde. I get really into the lore of Tauren, Trolls and Orcs. I run across sleazy role-playing on occasion, but for the most part I meet creative storytellers. I love my Tauren druid so much that I focus on it for the better part of three years, taking advantage of Blizzard's sex-change operation when it becomes available for a change of pace.
Yay for online gender-bending!
Four years later I make the difficult decision to faction switch to Alliance for the sake of a great guild, and the character I most love playing is still a druid. A bear druid. A Night Elf bear. Seems like things have kind of come full circle - but don't expect me to be anyone's furry love slave.
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